Don’t Play
I hope you don’t play this losing game. I hope you take an energy coin and leave. I hope you bet on yourself.
Martha Valenta’s “You Can’t Win” at the MAP Gallery 3840 “Making Their Mark” group show.
“You Can’t Win(When the Game Is Rigged)”
Is my latest interactive piece.
P.S. This Game Is Rigged
Step right up, folks! It’s time to play the game that everyone loves to lose.
At first glance, “You Can’t Win (When the Game is Rigged)” looks like a classic Plinko game—bright colors, pegs scattered down a playing field, and that familiar anticipation as you watch a piece bounce unpredictably toward its fate.
Except in this version, the playing field is mirrored. Before you drop your piece, you see yourself in the reflection.
You watch yourself decide whether to play or not.
And if you do play, you’ll watch yourself lose.
Because this game—like so many in life—is rigged.
You Only Get One Coin. And If You Play—You Will Lose
It’s hard to resist. You want to see the piece bounce. You want to believe that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.
But you only get one play. And the moment you let go, you already know how this ends.
At the bottom of the board, your token will land in one of five losing slots, each with a familiar phrase that’s been weaponized against women—especially women with ADHD:
• “Calm Down” – Because having emotions makes you “too much.”
• “He Just Seemed Like A Better Fit” – Because we all know who the default hire is.
• “Have You Tried Using A Planner?” – Because your ADHD isn’t real, you just need to try harder.
• “You’re Too Passionate” – Because enthusiasm is great… until it makes people uncomfortable.
• “You Should Smile More” – Because your worth is measured in how pleasing you are to others.
We Already Know This Game
We all know what happens when we walk into corporate jobs, signing up to work on someone else’s dream.
We women already know the deck is stacked against us. It’s 2025, and we’re still earning a fraction of what men earn for the same job. We’re still fighting to be seen, heard, taken seriously. We still get told to play the game by rules that weren’t made for us.
And we neurodivergent folks? We know how this goes, too. Our invisible disability isn’t taken seriously, so we’re expected to force ourselves into a neurotypical mold. We’re told to align, follow their path, make it work.
But we are not wired to stay on that path.
And when we inevitably can’t do it their way, we’re judged for it. Somehow we’re told to “just try harder,” to “be more organized,” to use the right planner, the right system, the right mask. And when we fail at being someone we were never meant to be? The game spits out its usual response, “You should have just followed the rules.”
Play and Lose, or Take Your Energy Back
To the right of the board sits a pedestal with a box of energy coins. Each brightly painted wooden disc asks:
“This is your energy, where will you spend it?”
Here’s the real choice:
• You can play the game, but you will lose.
• Or, you can take a coin, keep your energy, and bet on yourself instead.
Because the system will drain you if you let it. You can fight for approval from people who never truly valued you—or you can walk away and build something that actually works for you.
Why This Piece Exists
From the chaotic carnival of my ADHD brain, I bring you this rigged carnival game. It’s about the tension between patriarchal expectations and the exhausting contradictions of adult-diagnosed ADHD. It’s about watching people—especially women—burn themselves out trying to win a game that was never fair in the first place.
But it’s also about freedom. The freedom that comes when you realize you don’t actually have to play. When you stop chasing approval from people who are trapped in their own fears. When you stop looking for permission to be exactly who you are.
I’ll be over here, cheering for you to bet on yourself.
“You Can’t Win (When the Game Is Rigged)” can be experienced at these exhibits
”Making Their Mark: Tapping a New Wave of Women Artists”
MAP Gallery 3840
3840 Washington Ave
St. Louis, MO 63108
March 8th - April 8th | Gallery Open 9am-4pm Weekdays
“Attention Disco”
St. Louis Public Library - Central Branch
Carnegie Room (3rd Floor)
1301 Olive Street
June 2025 | Exhibit Open During Regular Library Hours
